Hey Jen, It's Me
Why does photography matter so much to me?
On April 9th, 2022 I unexpectedly lost my sister to suicide. Now, my life feels like there a two defining seasons; the time before I lost my sister and the time that has passed since. To say losing her was a life altering is an understatement. My sister was my home, my best friend, my greatest role model, and my confidant of 30 years. After losing Jen I spent a lot of time in therapy and re-evaluating what was important to me as a person.
The night she died my parents and I looked through things in her childhood room and found a note that she had written to my mom back in 2015 that she never gave her- it said, "What are you going to do with this one wild and precious life?". In early 2023 this question was still wringing in my ear. What did I want to do with my life? How did I want to spend my time? Was I using my God given talents or was I stuck in the place I loved and felt comfortable. At that time I was in the middle of my 9th year as a 4th grade teacher. For all of my 20's I knew that I was living out my purpose as a classroom teacher. I absolutely love kids and loved inspiring kids to be curious, get outside, and think critically. I won several awards in my short career, was selected to participate in incredible professional development opportunities, and knew that leaving would mean not getting to build personal relationships with a classroom full of 9 year olds any longer. That was devastating to me. But I kept reflecting, praying, and talking in therapy about what was next for my life.
Fortunately, all of my teaching career I pursued photography on the side as a way to earn additional income. I trained with mentors, second shot weddings, participated in styled shoots, and filled up most of my weekends with all kinds of jobs. I knew that God had given me this love and talent of photography as a door to a new chapter in my life.
After the loss of my sister, relatives, and a few dear friends I can honestly say I know the value of a photo that shows the soul of a person. So for me photography is a little deeper than just capturing images. It is capturing moments that give you something to hold onto down the road. I'm thankful for every photo I ever took of my sister that shows her light & I'm grateful that I get to capture you with your loved ones too.
To learn more about Jen, events we have held in her honor, and my journey with grief and mental health read below.
And always remember to pick up your flashlight & more importantly STAY HERE, you are loved.
To follow along, find us on instagram @heyjenitsme
This image was taken by my sister Jen Riedel. Jen and I share a passion for writing and photography. We thrive in creative spaces for it is truly where our souls are set free.
The reason I want to feature Hey Jen, It's Me on my website is to share a little bit of my story and hers. Since they are intricately intertwined.
I lost my sister suddenly on April 9th, 2022. She struggled all her life with mental health issues and unfortunately the battle she was fighting inside was lost. Since then we have been looking for meaning and trying to encourage others who have gone through something similar or are also currently battling the dark corners of their mind.
Jen's beauty was truly radiant. Her soul shined so brightly. In her best moments she was the most exhilarating person to be around. She encouraged skip circles, dance parties, and sing-a-longs. She lived for the simple things. Home-cooked meals, slow mornings, coffee and tea, and time serving and loving others. Jen was a slow traveler and had a travel bug. In her short 32 years, 10 months she lived a truly beautiful life and she made every single day count.
Over the years Jen held a variety of jobs in her early years she loved to work outside at a pool as a lifeguard, swim instructor, and coach. She also worked as a summer camp counselor. She started her own photography business and then worked at Deep South Entertainment. She pursued a certificate in being a yoga instructor. She went onto work for Citrix, Techstars, and OneWay Ventures. As you can see her energy was infectious.
What made Jen successful was not just in her work but how she spent her time outside of work. She focused on her passions. She enjoyed dance classes, yoga, and weekends camping in the back of the Prius exploring neighboring towns around Boston. Jen also loved to spend her time painting, and swimming in the water no matter the temperature. She loved to take the leap. If it scared her she wanted to do it anyways. Only two weeks before she died she participated in a polar plunge and encouraged others who were scared to do it. She taught them breathing techniques and reminded them that fear was as important of an emotion as any to face. Outwardly, she shared so much light but inwardly she was facing so much that very few knew anything about.
Our connection was as close as two sisters can be. Jen was my older sister. She was my first and only choice for Matron of Honor, my biggest role model and my reason why. I followed in almost all of her footsteps. She paved the way for me. She was my example and everything I aspired to be. We both looked to each other for inspiration, support, and hope when we couldn't find it anywhere else. She taught me so much in our 30 year relationship and I know if I keep my eyes open she's going to keep teaching me.
So what is Jen's legacy? It's simple and complicated all wrapped up together. Jen's legacy is to choose joy, to choose what makes you come alive, every single day you have. Her legacy is to live authentically, honestly, and openly. Her legacy is the one that my family, her friends, and our community will carry forward. A legacy which is founded on supporting those going through mental health crisis, a legacy of protecting and preserving our natural spaces, a legacy of supporting entrepreneurs just setting out on their path, and a legacy of living a simpler lifestyle. Finally, a legacy that values experiences in nature and connection with others and not consumerism. May we all carry that legacy forward and find a way to keep dancing in the rain.
Mental Health:
If you have active suicidal thoughts as you read this post. Call 911 or go immediately to somewhere you feel safe where you are surrounded by others. Additionally, you can call the suicide hotline 800-273-8255. This is a National Suicide Hotline. It is free of charge.
If you are not currently experiencing active suicidal thoughts but have experienced them before do not take that lightly. Talk to members of your community and get help. Start confronting your anxiety, depression, or any mental health challenge you are facing.
Society's expectations of you can wait. Your life is the most important thing. Missing a deadline or letting someone else down is not as important as taking care of yourself first.
If you know you someone in your community is struggling, check on that person, encourage them in the ways you can, seek resources for yourself, and ask for guidance from a medical professional if you are concerned about someone else's mental health.
Approach these conversations gently and without judgement. Persons who are struggling with mental health are struggling with guilt and shame to a degree which is hard to understand. Help them feel safe by using non-judgmental language.
For additional resources on how to start the conversation with yourself or others please check out the following resources:
https://thedepressionproject.com/
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://socialworklicensemap.com/social-work-resources/mental-health-resources-list/
Have resources that can be added here? Please email them to annah.riedel.photography@gmail.com!
